After a recent Covid death, we were faced with the problem of where we could hold a funeral that was socially distanced but would allow a number of guests to participate. With FuNet Funeral Directors we hit upon a solution: a hotel with a spectacular view over the Albano Lake and a beautiful garden. FuNet were very respectful and helpful and arranged everything so that we could concentrate on the family and creating a fitting and personalized funeral ceremony. What made it especially poignant was that the man whose life we were celebrating was from Castel Gandolfo, so the family and guests were literally looking at their home town on the other side of the lake as the touching ceremony unfolded, Many guests who thought they would not be able to speak were encouraged by the atmosphere to do so, and there were smlles and tears galore to encourage them.
First experiences of online funerals in Italy
To fill the void created by the Covid related restrictions on public gatherings, and the complete ban on funerals until very recently, we have officiated two complete live funerals on Zoom and Facebook.
The first, in Italian, was for a celebrant trained by our celebrant network (www.cerimonieuniche.it) who died of Covid, officiated by Richard Brown and Elena Pradella, while the second, in English, was for an American writer and translator who had lived in Italy since the 1980s, celebrated by Clarissa Botsford and Richard Brown.
Friends were invited to send in a photo of themselves, holding some object that represented their beloved friend.. These photos were then used to create a slideshow which was played at the end of the ceremony to fill the virtual space with love.
The main event was on Zoom and was streamed to Facebook live. In the Zoom room we had the chief mourners, while over 100 people were “present” at the live on-line funeral, posting comments all along, making it actually more participative than a normal funeral. Moreover, people who were unable to attend could watch the ceremony in their own time.
To represent the committal, in the first funeral the celebrant used a lighted candle with a musical accompaniment, which he then blew out. In the second one there was a picture of a bird accompanied by bird song (she was a great bird lover), which then became a video and flew off screen (see the short clip below).
While of course we all miss the physical contact of being together, we feel that the new technology can help us bridge the gap, especially when families live so far apart as is common today. So, not only can online funerals fill the void in exceptional circumstances they can also provide a new way to commemorate a person’s life.
Tender by Lynette Wallworth
There are not a lot of documentaries out there that choose “end of life services” as their main subject matter, but Australian artist/filmmaker Lynette Wallworth has found a way to fix this. We’d like to introduce you to TENDER, her feature documentary tracing the beginnings of a community-led funeral company.
If you are ready to learn more about what it takes to care for the dead, have an open heart and the willingness to embark on a journey of discover, reflection, tears and joy we strongly recommend you take the time to watch TENDER — please visit the official website to learn about all the ways you can currently watch this beautiful documentary.
