Rituals for your wedding in Italy: handfasting (or hand tying)

Handfasting is a beautiful ritual to consider including in your wedding ceremony. It involves the celebrant, or even a special friend or relative, tying cords or ribbons around your hands to signify your union.

Celebrant Sarah Morgan doing a handfasting ritual in a wedding ceremony. Photo by Valeria Mameli. Venue: Azienda Agrituristica Sa Mandar, Sardinia

It has ancient Celtic origins, sometimes used to represent a betrothal as well as sanctifying a couple’s commitment. A ceremony with a couple saying their vows and a handfasting was an alternative to a church wedding for forming a marriage in many parts of Britain for centuries. From the 1960s it has been adopted by Neopagans or Wiccans as their wedding ritual.

In a celebrant-led wedding, like for any other element, you can choose how to adopt this ritual to suit your taste and beliefs. It can be as simple or elaborate as you wish. If you like the Celtic idea of summoning the spirits of nature to bear witness to your union friends can represent the four directions and elements (earth, fire, water, air) by standing around you and the couple can repeat a Celtic handfasting vow before the celebrant ties the cords or ribbons. Or, you can choose to have a very simple handfasting with only a few words before about what it represents for you (to bind your lives together, to tie the knot, to create a tie that is unbreakable etc).

Photo by Light & Dreams

The way in which you hold your hands and the way the cords are tied can vary. One way is that the couple face each other holding both hands the the cords are tied around them as on a gift. Another is to hold your hands by crossing them over and thus forming the infinity symbol, or you can one hand opposite hands or side by side. Instead of your hands forming the infinity symbol you can tie the cords in an infinity knot. Finally, a very simple but effective way is to just loosely drape the cords around your hands.

Photo by Emanuele Fumanti

You can choose cords or ribbons that are in some way meaningful to you (like in a wedding in which one of the brides who had Scottish origins chose to use family tartan ribbons) or colours that are symbolic of qualities you would like for your marriage, or just colours or cords that you just really like. It’s fun to be creative and you can find beautiful handwoven cords to buy and you can decide to braid them yourselves.

Jumping the broom - leap into your marriage!

The ritual of jumping over a broom to mark the entrance into your new life as a married couple can be a fun ritual to add to your wedding ceremony. It symbolises the new beginning that getting married represents, while sweeping away the old. It shows you boldly and joyfully leaving your past and taking a leap into your future. It can also represent the leap of faith and trust that entering a marriage requires.

Alessia & Alessandro about to jump at their beach wedding in Lazio, Italy. Photo by La Pineta Studio

Its origins are not precisely known. It is popularly associated with African American culture (many couples use it now to acknowledge the struggle of their ancestors who used the ritual to signify their unions since as slaves they not permitted to marry) but it was in fact used in parts of Britain and was linked to Welsh and Celtic tradition from the early 18th century. Here the broom would be placed on the threshold of the house and the couple would hold hands and jump into their new home and life.

The broom, or besom (broom made from a bunch of twigs tied to a pole) represents the home and hearth. You can decorate the handle with ribbons or beads to make it more ornamental for the occasion.

When used in wedding ceremonies today the jumping of the broom usually takes place at the very end after you have made your vows and exchanged rings. It can be a way to involve guests either by asking a couple to hold the broom, or simply by asking them to join in while counting down to the jump.

Photo by La Pineta Studio

Unusual Wedding Rituals: the exchanging of coins in different cultures

The bride and bridegroom exchanges coins the arras from her Venezuelan tradition with celebrant Clarissa Botsford. Photo by Sotiris Tsakanikas.

Coins often feature in marriage rituals – it’s not hard to understand why! 

In many Latin American countries and in the Philippines, couples exchange what are called las arras matrimoniales. Traditionally, these wedding tokens were made up of thirteen gold coins handed down through the generations. Twelve of the coins represent the months of the year while the thirteenth represents those who are poor. In legal terms an “arras” is a contract, adding an extra layer of significance to the ritual.  

In a wedding I celebrated in Umbria with a Venezuelan bride last September, Gabriela brought her arras, which had been her grandmother’s and then her mother’s before her. The couple clasped the bright, jingling coins in their hands while speaking their vows. Gabriela’s mother was present, her eyes shining with pride and emotion. But the ritual resonated even with those who were not familiar with the tradition.

In a traditional Irish ceremony, the groom would give the bride a silver coin saying something like “I give you this as a symbol of all I possess”. In modern times, more democratically, both members of the couple will exchange the coin, declaring that they will share everything they own!