There are many ways you can involve children in a wedding ceremony, whether they are the bride and bridegroom’s children, their nephews and nieces, or kids who are dear to their hearts. These ideas are not just for outgoing or confident kids, but also for those who want to take part in the ceremony without taking centre stage. We at Passaggi con offer some tips from our experience with local and destination weddings in Italy.
A little boy who is excited about participating
Naturally, when involving kids in a wedding ceremony there are various things you have to take into consideration, above all their age and their willingness to participate. For the little ones, it is a good idea to have parents or older children ready to help them if they need guidance. With little kids it is also important to keep in mind that not all may go to plan and sometimes there can be last minute refusals, however if everyone is relaxed about it then sometimes these unscripted moments of running instead of walking down the aisle, of throwing all the petals in one go, or refusing to bring the rings forward can bring unexpected laughter and smiles to the ceremony.
A role that is traditionally given to children is that of flower girl or page. As such they are part of the bridal party entering on their own or with a bridesmaid. Often children take this role quite seriously and the little ones often enjoy the practice of throwing rose petals as much as the ceremony itself. Their entrance can be a very sweet moment for the guests and couple who are watching and will certainly make the children feel important.
Another way to include children for them to be ring-bearers with the responsibility of bringing the rings to the front, which is traditionally assigned to the best man. Naturally, an adult should hold onto the rings until that moment and then give them to the child/children when the moment arrives. In this video, the couple’s nephew and niece have been given this task and they end up enthusiastically running down the aisl
In another wedding, the bride’s nephew manages to fulfil this role very well and immediately looks to his parents for approval.
A little boy, the bride’s nephew, turns back to his parents for approval after performing his duty as ring-bearer
Another idea, again to do with the rings, is that older children help out with the ring-warming by passing out the rings on a cushion or holding each end of a cord or a ribbon for the rings to be slid along. In the photo below the couple’s nephews hold each end of the ribbon on which the rings are passed along for the guests to hold and bless the rings in their own way. The boys’ participation and enjoyment meant that the ring warming was even more heartfelt. And since the kids don’t have to be at the front even shy ones can feel comfortable taking part in this way.
Older children holding a ribbon for the ring-warming. Photo by Emanuele Fumanti
There are other ways that children can lend a hand during the ceremony. For example in bilingual weddings we do in English and Italian, couples sometimes choose to have children hand out their vows in the other language just before they say them to each other. For more tips for bilingual weddings click here.
If instead you opt for a ritual such as the sand ceremony, children can be asked to bring forward the various objects involved or be part of it by pouring the sand. If there is a candle lighting ritual they can bring the candle forward. This kind of involvement works for any type of symbolic ritual. For example, in this wedding the bridegroom’s two daughters took part in the tree planting ceremony by watering the tree.
The bridegroom’s daughters taking part in a tree-planting ritual in a wedding ceremony
Finally, a way of involving children who are shy or do not want to stand up in front of the guests is to have them act as ushers, or to have them distribute the little bags of confetti, rice or petals for the couple’s exit.
